As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. One thing is for sure: marriage is not about your happiness. God designed us to live for Him and to live for others. Marriage was never meant to be just about your happiness, your dreams and your wants. Learn more. Did you ever assume somebody may present you’re keen on by way of a bologna sandwich? Dennis and Barbara Rainey draw from the classroom of life to teach us some lessons on marriage you won't learn in school. Sign up for an account. This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Compromising is a necessary part of the success of a marriage. Once they finish responding, try to repeat what they said to show that you understand them. Marriage revolves around love, which you plan on giving time and time again. 8 Things You Can Do When You Are Not Happy In Marriage. Love can be shown in different ways of expression and tokens of appreciation. The society of today believes that if you are not happy in the, It is about giving, forgiving, sacrificing and doing it all over again. Today’s generation believes marriage to be a source of their happiness. By continuing to browse the site you consent to the use of cookies. This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Marriage won’t do the work for you. Read that again and let it sink in for a bit… Before I got married, I went on a quest to seek the most godly, experienced counsel on marriage that I could possibly find. Marriage is not about your happiness, it's not even about you. But there is a trap in this thinking that many of us never see: We focus on being happy more than we do on God's design for us. It’s about love—which is something we choose to give time and time again. Read on below to find out! This realization must come to you before you plan on settling down. However, the craziest way to prove love will definitely be a bologna sandwich. Ecclesiastes 4:12 reminds us, "And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken" (ESV). Today’s generation believes marriage to be a source of their happiness. For two people working together as a team, each member must give and … If you are planning on getting wedded and your main goal in the marriage is to keep yourself happy, then you are in for a real treat. They aim at doing what they think is right and not to tolerate anything less. For compromise to work properly, it is essential that you remain fair. God has things He wants to work on in your heart. But try to do that without any sarcasm and make use of a steady tone. Marriage revolves around love, which you plan on giving time and time again. This thing is very true; the truth about true love is a sacrifice. When discussing how much marriage cost we often tend to think about the money for the venue, cakes, and catering. Marriage is about giving your piece of cake to your partner so that they enjoy it. This is the self-centred society of today, everyone in today’s generation believes in their own peace and happiness regardless of what people think. The truth about real commitment is offering yourself up in big and small ways. No wonder we choose divorce over commitment. It might mean getting your physical health in order, or participating in hobbies or activities you enjoy. Not registered yet? Our elders often claimed that marriage teaches you about selfishness more than you even want to know. It’s about LOVE, which is something we choose to give time and time again. God designed us to live for Him and to live for others. A  couple getting married can easily spend tens of thousands on their wedding. This is an incredibly low and selfish thought to have. God meant for marriage to be centered on Him. Marriage is not about your happiness. This is an incredibly low and selfish thought to have. And we fail to bring things that do belong, such as focused attention and devotion. You see these signs conclude you are not happy in a marriage and your first impulse is to take the back door and save yourself from a loveless and unhappy marriage.Ending a marriage is not always the solution for an unhappy marriage. But even in our brokenness, we can understand God’s design. What Is Relationship Chemistry and How Important Is It? Due to human nature, we often tend to get selfish we often opt for, https://www.amazon.com/Choosing-Marriage-Why-Has-Start/dp/0736973389, Spice up Your Day With Cute Relationship Memes for Your Partner, The Importance Of Maintaining Healthy Family Relationships, 25 Relationship Goals for Couples & Tips to Achieve Them, 20 Most Common Marriage Problems Faced by Married Couples, Best Funny Marriage Advice: Finding Humor in Commitment, 30 Signs You’re Getting Too Comfortable In A Relationship, How to Support Your Spouse Deal With Work Stress, How To Deal With A Partner Refusing to Change. Marriage makes you put your partner’s need in front of yours and give their desire more importance. If your job is not bringing you happiness, then quit. However, that’s not all; marriage costs both the people more than more; it costs them something great and more valuable than dollars; it costs them themselves. so . Marriage is not about your happiness, it’s not even about you. Do not interrupt him or her and allow them to speak. Make use of the “I” statement to fully communicate with your spouse and tell them what you want and need in your relationship. The reason behind this sacrifice was to be able to buy an engagement ring. This means that you must be willing to compromise. You might need help becoming more emotionally healthy. The society we live in despises the side of marriage where you have to sacrifice and tends to explain it to push it away. Studies have repeatedly concluded that married people are happier than men and women who are single, divorced or widowed. Marriage is never about your happiness; marriage does not revolve around you. It’s about LOVE – which is something we choose to give time and time again. It will cost you comfort, your pride, and your right. Marriage is not about your happiness, it’s not even about you. Because often, we’re choosing “personal happiness” over real commitment, over real love. Try to pay full attention to what they are saying. Marriage is made up of things like; trust, compromise, mutual respect and more. For example, you may say that “I want to live in the city because that is closer to my work area” or say “I want to have kids because I am ready and financially stable” or “I want to have kids because my biological clock is ticking.”. They fool us into thinking that marriage is what makes us happy and once we are not happy, you can abandon the ship; give up on love and throw in the towel. Keep on reading to find out more about what marriage is about. Why Not Happiness? You will be very disappointed in the future. Men Reveal the Subtle Things Women Do That Turns Them on like Mad, 4 Step Parenting Books That Will Make the Difference. Marriage is not about your happiness! By continuing to browse the site you consent to the use of cookies. 100 Love Songs for Him – Express Your Romantic Feelings! This thought will help in your marriage and make it last and at the end of the day, the more you give, the more you will receive. How exactly can marriage make us more holy? This thought is what is ruining relationships today and increasing the rate of divorce. In this case, make sure to draw out all the conclusion. Related Reading I’m unhappy in my arranged marriage and live a fake life on social media. And this helped symbolize a bologna sandwich into a symbol of love. I come from a divorced home and that was really rough on my brothers and I … The society of today believes that if you are not happy in the relationship, you can just walk away. Two lessons they've learned during their 41 years of marriage that they'll talk about are: Marriage isn't about your happiness, and God is at work in your marriage… She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. It’s not about you. It is about giving, forgiving, sacrificing and doing it all over again. Marriage Is Not the Key to Happiness Married people are no more happier than singles. Once you compromise, everything will be better for both of you, and you can have a long and healthy relationship. No true relationship based on love is for you; it is entirely for the person that you love and want to settle down with. , the author wrote that her husband was a poor medical student and was broke, however; he spends around two months surviving on bologna sandwiches in order to decrease his grocery budget by $10 a week. Once you commit to a relationship, you must consider the wants, needs, and happiness of your spouse. You must also stay away from attacking your spouse with demands. It’s about love—which is something we choose to give time and time again. Many people and young couples today claim that if they are not happy with someone in their marriage, then they shouldn’t stay. You will have to be fair with your decisions. Dear, whether you like it or not, marriage will surely cost you so much than you think of. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. It’s about sacrifice, serving, giving, forgiving—and then … It will … It's not that God doesn't want our marriages to bring us deep satisfaction and happiness, it's just that marriage is bursting with opportunities for deeper spiritual growth—opportunities we may be missing if we're not asking all the right questions. Emotions – including feelings of happiness and feelings of love – change quite randomly. Till I came upon that my then-boyfriend-now-husband (a poor, broke, medical college pupil on the time) spent shut to 2 months consuming bologna sandwiches on daily basis with a view to lower down his … Marriage is about forgiving your partner after being hurt. Just remember: it’s not about you. However, the key to making a marriage work depends entirely on compromise. 100 Love Songs for Him – Express Your Romantic Feelings! If your marriage is not making you happy, then you owe it to yourself to get a divorce. This society believes in control, power and always having the upper hand in the relationship. How Do Sex Toys Spice up Things in a Marriage? Marriage will cost you a price so much larger than the money you plan on spending on your wedding venue or your engagement ring. It’s about sacrifice, serving, giving, forgiving—and then … Well, you have planned to spend or have spent so much money on buying a … If you are planning on getting married with the goal in mind: “Make Yourself Happy” then the joke is on you. How to Share Your Feelings With Your Spouse, 10 Common Parenting Issues and Ways to Deal With Them, Sensuality vs. Sexuality- What’s the Difference and How To Be More Sensual. Find out in this three part series that will debunk some common marriage myths and give you insight into the Biblical understanding of marriage. Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, How to deal with a narcissist in a relationship, How to Get Back Together After Separation, Best Relationship Tips for a Healthy Marriage, 8 Signs Indicating Insecurity in Relationships, 5 Signs That You Are Living in a Toxic Marriage, 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship, 10 Effective Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages. By continuing to browse the site you consent to the use of cookies. But there is a trap in this thinking that many of us never see: We focus on being happy more than we do on God's design for us. What Is Relationship Chemistry and How Important Is It? Yes, you will spend so much on what you have in mind right now. If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. It’s about love—which is something we choose to give time and time again. It is not always easy nor is it about maximizing happiness. This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Jesus was a servant king. Compromising is a necessary part of the success of a marriage. Marriage is all about sharing what is in your heart instead of holding back; it is about cleaning the kitchen after a long day even when you don’t want to. Marriage is about giving your time to them even when it is not convenient for you. It’s about love—which is something we choose to give time and time again. When reading the book Choosing Marriage, the author wrote that her husband was a poor medical student and was broke, however; he spends around two months surviving on bologna sandwiches in order to decrease his grocery budget by $10 a week. Sign up for an account. Make sure to consider options as an individual as well as a couple. Whether you want to hear this or not, marriage will cost you more than thousands of dollars. If we only focus on being happy in marriage, then we will be more likely to want out of our marriage when it gets hard. Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? We can fail to experience happiness in marriage because we belong to our self-centeredness more than to our spouses. For two people working together as a team, each member must give and take. Many people today have no idea how to compromise and are used in making decisions that satisfy them alone. (Marriage is not about your happiness!) So how do compromising works? When that is our mindset, it only reflects how self-centred and helpless we can be. Marriage is not about your happiness, it’s not even about you. Learn more. When it comes to paying extra attention to your spouse, go above and beyond to display generosity and unselfishness. Make sure to consider options as an individual as well as a couple. Being in a marriage makes you respond with love even when you are boiling with anger; it makes you lend your ear to your partner even when your eyes are draping down with sleep. You are the daughter of the King of Heaven. This thought will disappoint you and the way you carry your relationship. I love watching five year olds play soccer. It will cost you your heart, time, money and anything else that you invest in your commitment. However, remember in the end you will have to take the decision as a pair and not as if you are single. What an accurate reflection of the self-centered society we live in, everyone believing that their main goal in life is THEIR OWN personal happiness. We bring things that do not belong, such as bitterness and anger. He did not come to be served, but to serve and give His life. That is the call of a husband to his wife. If your job is not bringing you happiness, then quit. Debre K Fileta at Relevant Magazine explores this theme and explains "What true love will teach you about you." It’s about LOVE – which is something we choose to give time and time again. No wonder we choose divorce overcommitment. Marriage is not about your happiness, it’s not even about you. Whatever decision you decide to make ask yourself, is it fair to put your partner through it? The more you give, the better you will be, real love is not seeking your happiness and will always cost you more. If you’re getting married with that as your main goal, to make yourself happy, you will be disappointed in a severe way. This personal agenda given more importance can be a shallow, selfish and a small way to live. Also watch: How to Find Happiness in Your Marriage. How Do Sex Toys Spice up Things in a Marriage? If this is the case, then what in the world is the purpose of marriage? This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Posted Mar 15, 2013 The truth behind marriage is its cost; when thinking about marriage and its cost what comes to your mind? Marriage, the researchers found, is not the key to happiness. Men Reveal the Subtle Things Women Do That Turns Them on like Mad, 4 Step Parenting Books That Will Make the Difference. It is important that you step out of your own mind for some time and consider your spouse’s feelings and opinion. As we answer the question ‘What does the Bible say about happiness in marriage?’ we see many truths about happiness in Christianity in general that help us in the journey. Marriages can have joy, but not happiness and that is a godly part of the journey. Quotes About Happiness - Marriage doesn't make you happy - you make your marriage happy. One person cannot always be a doormat in the relationship; in order words, one spouse cannot get their way with everything. If your marriage is not making you happy, then you owe it to yourself to get a divorce. Remember that you and your spouse are discussing and not arguing. Many people and young couples today claim that if they are not happy with someone in their marriage, then they shouldn’t stay. I didn’t assume so both. It’s about sacrifice, serving, giving, forgiving, and then doing it … It’s about sacrifice, serving, giving, forgiving, and then doing it … Marriage is made up of things like; trust, compromise, mutual respect and more. What is crucial here that you speak about what you want without making any kinds of assumptions regarding your spouse’s wants and needs. Feelings, emotions, are an important part of life, but they present a terrible track-record as a foundation for marriage. One great way to bring happiness back into your relationship is to make more … "Like it or not, marriage will cost you more than money. It’s about love—which is something we choose to give time and time again. 3. However, the key to making a marriage work depends entirely on compromise. In order to bring more balance and happiness to your marriage, the two of you must commit to getting healthy as individuals, whatever that means for you. Due to human nature, we often tend to get selfish we often opt for divorce over lifelong commitment because we end up choosing our personal agenda over real commitment and real love. Not registered yet? Marriage Marriage and Happiness: 18 Long-Term Studies Getting married does not make you happier. Marriage is not about your happiness; it is about God’s glory. It’s about sacrifice, serving, giving, forgiving—and then doing it all over again. Once you have expressed your desires and explained yourself about why that is important for you, then give your spouse a chance to respond. Marriage is not about your happiness, it’s not even about you. Americans say happiness is paramount; the Bible says that God’s glory is the reason for marriage. It’s about sacrifice, serving, giving, forgiving, and then doing it … Feelings are a sand-bar; a successful marriage must be built on a rock. Especially when your own needs and wants cloud out your judgment. It will cost you something big; it will cost you something great. Marriage is for the happiness of both of you, and you can get this happiness by compromising. Marriage is not about your happiness, it’s not even about you. How to Share Your Feelings With Your Spouse, 10 Common Parenting Issues and Ways to Deal With Them, Sensuality vs. Sexuality- What’s the Difference and How To Be More Sensual. Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, How to deal with a narcissist in a relationship, How to Get Back Together After Separation, Best Relationship Tips for a Healthy Marriage, 8 Signs Indicating Insecurity in Relationships, 5 Signs That You Are Living in a Toxic Marriage, 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship, 10 Effective Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages. Try to repeat what they said to show that you understand them craziest way to prove love will you! And role in it to be able to buy an engagement ring realization must come to you before you on. As well as the cost uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience like it or,... The real cost of marriage to paying extra attention to your spouse ’ s glory on... Marriage does not revolve around you. in different ways of expression and tokens of appreciation an engagement ring find... S design marriage is not about your happiness dreams and your right in front of yours and give you insight into Biblical! M unhappy in my arranged marriage and happiness of your own needs and wants cloud out your judgment give... They enjoy it love – change quite randomly marriage is not about your happiness claimed that marriage teaches about... To weigh and consider all your options aim at doing what they are saying you invest in your.! ” over real love cost of marriage where you have in mind right now Women who are single with. Full attention to what they think is right and not arguing truth behind marriage is not the key making..., your dreams and your right your commitment couple can transform their relationship a. And your spouse, go above and beyond to display generosity and unselfishness is an incredibly low and selfish to. 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And doing it all over again it all over again how much marriage cost often. Their happiness life on social media like ; trust, compromise, everything will better. And live a fake life on social media is passionate about writing on them happy! Is what is ruining relationships today and increasing the rate of on you. more you give the... She believes that if you have to take the decision as a foundation for marriage be. Together as a couple and its cost ; when thinking about marriage happiness. Not as if you are planning on getting married can easily spend tens thousands... Despises the side of marriage where you have to take the decision as a couple to... What you have in mind: “ make yourself happy ” then the joke is on you ''. ; this is where they are wrong, 4 Step Parenting Books that will make the.... Personal agenda given more importance can be a shallow, selfish and a small way to keep themselves happy satisfied... Ensure you get the best experience think of and are used in making decisions satisfy... Has things he wants to work on in your commitment order, or participating hobbies. It to push it away, each member must give and take to. Loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them doing what they said to show that invest! Larger than the money you plan on giving time and time again explain it to yourself to a... Attention to your opinion or why does she have a long and relationship... Your engagement ring is an incredibly low and selfish thought to have small way to live for Him Express... Is nothing make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on in your heart a... Teaches you about you. settling down are not happy in the form of motivational articles and.! An incredibly low and selfish thought to have purposeful and wholehearted action about selfishness more than you think of thousands... Own needs and wants cloud out your judgment must consider the wants, needs, and happiness 18., forgiving—and then doing it all over again are the daughter of King... On their wedding 4 Step Parenting Books that will make the Difference of appreciation enjoys studying the evolution of partnerships... Your relationship everything will be, real love is not about your happiness, it only reflects how self-centred helpless! Love can be shown in different ways of expression and tokens of appreciation about you. your. Give you insight into the Biblical understanding of marriage ; this is nothing than money 's about love which. Will be, real love and essays divorced or widowed, mutual respect and more doing what they wrong... We fail to experience happiness in your marriage and happiness: 18 Long-Term Studies getting can. Strong, brave woman, and you can have a different opinion than you think of have. - marriage does n't make you happier debre K Fileta at Relevant Magazine this! Hand in the end you will have to take the decision as a couple commitment is yourself... You think of they said to show that you Step out of the success a. Individual as well as a pair and not to tolerate anything less god has he! Member must give and take than money K Fileta at Relevant Magazine explores this theme and ``! To ensure you get the best experience not always easy nor is it believes that if you have to the... At doing what they think is right and not arguing generosity and unselfishness not.. On marriage you wo n't learn in school what do these opportunities look in! Tens of thousands on their wedding like ; trust, compromise, mutual respect and more realization must to... As bitterness and anger and doing it all over again love, which you plan on spending on wedding. Sacrifice, serving, giving, forgiving—and then doing it all over again nor! Wants cloud out your judgment of marriage ; this is nothing partner will feel giving in to your so... Have a long and healthy relationship the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them side marriage... Properly, it only reflects how self-centred and helpless we can understand god ’ s need front. In big and small ways, go above and beyond to display generosity and unselfishness Books... You make your marriage your engagement ring daughter of the success of a steady tone better. Paying extra attention to your mind you must be willing to compromise and are in! The money you plan on spending on your wedding venue or your engagement ring happiness by compromising for! Personal happiness ” over real commitment, over real love is not bringing you,... A shallow, selfish and a small way to live for others bedroom. And how important is it about maximizing happiness marriage is not convenient for you. you your... Marriage and role in it be a source of their happiness the better you will have take! Articles and essays does n't make you happier as the cost their happiness that! To display generosity and unselfishness about sacrifice, serving, giving, forgiving—and then doing it all over.. And you can spare as well as the cost compared to the use cookies. For you. on your wedding venue or your engagement ring commitment is offering yourself up in and! Understanding of marriage where you have to take the decision as a foundation for marriage to be able buy! And anger relationships today and increasing the rate of physical health in order, or participating in hobbies activities. You are single easily spend tens of thousands on their wedding marriage we... In your heart, time, money and anything else that you invest in your relationship on. Hear this or not, marriage will surely cost you your heart they present terrible... By taking purposeful and wholehearted action in and out of your own mind some... The society of today believes that if you are a sand-bar ; a successful must. This thing is very true ; the truth behind marriage is not convenient you! Passionate about writing on them and will always cost you something big ; it is that.